Question!

Originally appeared in the Huron River Review in 2011.

Question!

What are you doing here?

Do you want some coffee?

Are you alone?

Are you from Michigan originally?

How many cats do you own?

Are you worthy?

What time does the bus come?

Do you like vanilla scones?

Do you like pictures of naked women?

Is it ok if I call you dude?

How long have you had those jeans?

Why don’t you meditate?

Can you see the moon from where you’re standing?

Do you know where my keys were?

Why did you kiss that person?

Is it something you regret?

Terribly?

Have you ever touched a dolphin?

What does Hong Kong smell like?

How old are you really?

In dog years?

Do you speak dog?

What kind of tattoo do you secretly want?

If vampires were real, would you?

What’s the ancient Greek word for girlfriend?

Hot or mold?

On a scale of one to ten, ten being extremely curious, how annoying are blimps to you?

Which of the three Fates accurately describes you?

Who would win, a shark, or Plato?

What is your CB handle?

What is your secret email name, the one you use for answering online singles ads?

How often will we run into each other at glory holes?

¿Dónde está el baño?

Can I have a glass of water with no ice please?

Can I avoid talking to the homeless guy?

Can I afford not to?

Can you find any salmon in this river?

Can you find the shark?

Can you still bet on Plato?

Why would you say a dog has no Buddha nature?

Do you have something against dogs?

Why do you distinguish between light and dork?

Do you not have something against distinguishing?

Do you think pantyhose are sexy?

How can I stop?

Would you like some ice-cream?

Would you like some salmon?

Would you like a shark?

Would your vampire like a shark?

Would your dog like a CB handle?

Are the vanilla scones terribly alone?

Is it ok if your cats see the moon?

In dog years?

What time does your tattoo annoy your ancient Greek girlfriend?

¿Dónde están los online singles ads with no ice?

How often will the Fates be mild?

How often hot?

Why did you kiss that person?

That person?

That person?

Why don’t you meditate?

Haven’t you ever touched a dolphin in Hong Kong?

What are you still doing here?