For the 792 male readers
of poetry in the United States
Since we are so few in number
I thought it might be nice to have a space of our own
to discuss important things
things of relevance to male poets:
like sports and naked women
So if you’re female please stop reading
Now that they are gone
let’s discuss the relevance of sports
in the realm of poetry
which is not much
and if you were to tell your sports buddies
that you read poetry
they would call you a pussy
though I might argue that both sports and poetry
are about pushing the limits of what is human
except that the competition between poets is much higher
As for the second relevant thing
my thesis is that naked women are a good thing
while the antithesis of naked women is clothed women
and this too is a good thing
therefore the ideal synthesis is partially-clothed women
especially partially-clothed women who like our taste in
poetry
though it’s not a question of taste really
they’re probably just grateful we like it period
or they should be
and since we all know they kept reading
even though I told them not to
because women are like that
we hope that they are smiling now
in that slightly pitying yet mostly loving way they have
and that they do this while partially-clothed
