Query letter sample: The Comic Book Writer

Another query letter sample, this one for my novel The Comic Book Writer. A reflection follows. The first twenty pages can be found here.

Emerald City ComiCon in Seattle forces MARK, a semi-famous comic book writer with a career perhaps on the decline, to reevaluate his life while sharing the space with his ex-girlfriend CATHERINE, whose own career is peaking, and MARION, a young barista/poet. Over the four days and three nights, Mark navigates the comics world, while working through his life-long depression, and desire. Along the way, readers get an in-depth look at the pop culture phenomenon of comics, graphic novels, and cosplay.

The Comic Book Writer takes the premise of The Sportswriter by Richard Ford and puts it in the hipster sub-culture of comics, in the style of Jim Harrison, Roberto Bolaño, Denis Johnson, and Charles Bukowski.

The Comic Book Writer

Literary Fiction

Word Count: 78,773

Formal Bio:

John Yohe holds a MA in Written Communication from Eastern Michigan University and a MFA in Poetry Writing from The New School for Social Research. His essays on pop culture have appeared at WORD RIOT and SLOW TRAINS. He is a regular reviewer of books at ENTROPY, and graphic novels at COMICS BULLETIN. Links to published short fiction and poetry can be found at: www.johnyohe.com.

Informal Bio:

Born in Puerto Rico, John Yohe grew up in Michigan, and currently lives in Portland, Oregon. He has worked as a wildland firefighter, deckhand/oiler, runner/busboy, bike messenger, wilderness ranger, fire lookout, as well as a teacher of writing.  A complete list of his publications, and poetry, fiction and non-fiction writing samples, can be found at his website: www.johnyohe.com

I have three other novels in my psych ward, along with enough published short stories for a collection. And I've been writing many reviews, along with some essays. Also a couple books of poetry.

Thank you!

John Yohe

503.317.0851

www.johnyohe.com

Reflection:

Again, going with the strategy of jumping right into the action as an attention grabber. I still like the second paragraph, a re-framing of the summary. Instead of trying to decide whether to include a more formal or less formal bio, I decided to be different and do both. It's my fear of appearing too academic-y appearing, being written off as yet another MFAer, and trying on the other hand to show that I'm competent and have specialized experience. I have no idea if a lit agent would appreciate that or not. I didn't get any nibbles, so apparently not, but who knows.

I also couldn't resists including that last paragraph about having other works. I've seen this advised against, that lit agents just want to know about the one piece of writing. My thinking is, I'm trying to show them that this book isn't just a one-shot, that if they were to sign me up, that I'd have plenty of other writing to sell, and that I'd I'm showing that I'm a writer constantly working on more writing. Again, I have no idea if this is appreciated, or derided. 

Again, the first twenty pages can be found here. 

Other query samples can be found here, here and here.

Query letter sample: Masked Man

Here is another query letter sample, this one for my novel Masked Man. This was in hard copy format, thus the header, which I'll leave in for posterity, but note that you wouldn't do that for an email query: just start with their first and last name (no Mr/Ms even).

I do remember this particular agent I was querying a second time, since he'd asked for the full manuscript of my novel CAT, based on my query letter for that. (see link for that). I'm not sure that was a good strategy, since he didn't end up liking CAT. He said he didn't find the main characters sympathetic. So, I thought I'd try him with a satire/comedy, which he did not like at all. Though he did reply back with a personal letter to say so. That's about the most successful I've been with querying.

Note that I didn't include a list of short fiction published, nor did I even list places I've published short fiction in the bio. Oops. Nor even did I put in a personal note to him reminding him that he'd liked CAT et cetera. Which he chastised me for. Always put in some kind of personal note to them. Just a paragraph to let them know, why them?

On the other hand, I still think this is a good query: It summarizes and shows what is at stake in the first paragraph, and shows that readers of certain other western-ish books might like it. Plus have "Maria Jose" as already published.

My bio here reads 'academic', which I go back and forth on whether that's good or bad. I've lately taken out my academic creds and listed my unique jobs, which to me seems more interesting. But, I could be wrong. Maybe it's not either/or.

john yohe

__________ dr. #g

jackson, mi 49203

______@____.com

www.johnyohe.com

February 22, 2012

_________ Literary Agency
______Central Park W
New York, NY 10025

Mr. _____:

A retired ASU philosophy professor, after losing his wife to cancer, heads south, by horse, dressed as a famous masked ranger to rescue a “mexican señorita” he's seen in a dream. He is accompanied by an Apache community college poet dropout. Getting to Mexico and finding the señorita, María José, is the easy part. Getting out, in the middle of a narcotraficante turf war, is not.

My novel, MASKED MAN, is a satire/homage to southwestern novels from both sides of the border, including those by Ed Abbey, Cormac McCarthy, and Roberto Bolaño, with (ir)reverent nods to Cervantes' Don Quixote, the original buddy story. Word count: 50,000. Pages: 192

An excerpt from the novel was published as the short story “María José” in the online literary journal SOL: English Writing in Mexico, and selected for their “Best of 2011” anthology: http://www.solliterarymagazine.com/fiction/john-yohe-maria-jose/

Bio:

John Yohe was born in Puerto Rico. He holds a MFA in Poetry Writing from The New School for Social Research, and a MA in The Teaching of Writing from Eastern Michigan University. He now teaches writing full-time at Jackson Community College. A complete list of his publications, and poetry, fiction and non-fiction writing samples can be found at his website: www.johnyohe.com

Thank you,

John Yohe

johnyohe.com

The first 20 pages or so of Masked Man can be found here.

Query Letter: Geronimo's Cave

Here is another sample query letter, this one for my novel Geronimo's Cave. Like my last query letter example (found here), I tried to put the agent right in the story in the first sentence, and then give a 'big picture' look of how the story fits in.

What I did not do: show what is at stake, or what Singer's obsession might be, which are supposed good strategies. I'm not so sure that 'what is at stake' is applicable in all cases, and not in this one. I could be wrong. It's happened before. But, if you see anything of use for your own query letter, feel free to steal it! Comments/feedback welcome!

I also did not include a list of my published fiction after the letter, which I had been doing with previous letters (which you'll see in the weeks to come). Lit agents don't ask for this anymore, and so I mentioned some literary magazines I've been published in, the most well known that they may have heard of, and hope if they're really interested, that they'll go to my website to see more. I do not know if they would, though visits to my website do go up when I send out query letters.

Alas, I received no nibbles on this from lit agents. I also tried querying indie publishers, and did get a nibble or two, but they were so indie as to be not even survive beyond responding back to me. Alas alas alas....

Note: Apparently, using Mr or Ms is now considered too formal, and you should just use their first and last name. Or so I've read.... 

Also also, this is the last time I ever still used actual an print letter for some agents. At this point, it was still a mix of both email and snail mail. Now, it's almost always email. But if you were doing print, you would put your address and info first, then theirs. Thankfully, it's easier now, but that means it's easier for everybody, and lit agents now get more queries. Though it's easier for them to pass. With email queries, you may now never get a reply back if they're not interested. It's not personal, but don't ever bother them by following up, and don't ever every call their office!

Begin query letter:

Mr./Ms. Their Name,

After a divorce, his sister's descent into addiction, and the death of his mother, TONY SINGER, a teacher at Mesa Community College, in Arizona, gives up his job, and his life, and goes off into the Superstition Mountains, to a cave once used by Geronimo, to die. While there, he receives visitors, both real and imagined (and remembered). This modern mash-up of two myths, the Christian Temptation of St. Anthony and the Tibetan Life of Milarepa, re-tells the lesson found in many spiritual paths: giving up everything.

Audience for Geronimo's Cave: readers of Sherman Alexie, Roberto Bolaño, Jim Harrison, and Kim Addonizio.

Geronimo's Cave

Literary fiction

Word count: 52,929

Bio:

Born in Puerto Rico, John Yohe grew up in Michigan, and currently lives in Portland, Oregon. He has worked as a wildland firefighter, deckhand/oiler, runner/busboy, bike messenger, wilderness ranger, fire lookout, as well as a teacher of writing. MA in Written Communication from Eastern Michigan University and a MFA in Poetry Writing from The New School for Social Research. His short stories have appeared at connu.co, Rattapallax, ENTROPY, Best American Erotica of 2004.

A complete list of all his publications, including essays and reviews, with links and samples, can be found at his website: www.johnyohe.com

Blog: johnyoheblog.blogspot.com

Twitter: @thejohnyohe

Thank you,

John Yohe

www.johnyohe.com

503.***.****

 The first 20 pages or so of Geronimo's Cave can be found here.

Query letter: CAT

Here is an example of a query letter for my novel CAT, for either a literary agent or an indie publisher. This is the one query letter that has gotten nibbles: requests to see the full manuscript. Alas, that's as far as I've gotten. What I would add, somewhere, is a paragraph saying why I'm querying that particular literary agent or publisher. I will post more query letters in the weeks to come, so you can see how my format has changed (not that that has necessarily increased interest). I don't put my blog and Twitter anymore, but who knows, maybe that helped? Feel free to borrow and steal anything you can use for your own query letter!

Their Name,

Ash and blackened earth. An elite wildland firefighting hotshot crew reaches the edge of a wildfire with chainsaws roaring, tanker planes and helicopters overhead. Cutting and digging line, they hope to catch the fire before it spreads out of control.

CAT: OR A SEASON IN FIRE follows DANNY SINGER during his first season on an elite wildland firefighting ‘hotshot’ crew, and his relationship with a female coworker (CAT) and the rest of the crew have as they travel the American west fighting forest fires for one summer.

With wildfires in the news every summer, CAT offers a look into the lives of wildland firefighters behind the media screen. My writing style comes from writers such as Hemingway, Sherman Alexie, Robert Bolaño, Jim Harrison, and Edward Abbey. This story would also appeal to readers of non-fiction works like Young Men and Fire and Fire On The Mountain.

Word count: 54,594

Bio:

Born in Puerto Rico, John Yohe grew up in Michigan, and currently lives in Portland, Oregon. He has worked as a wildland firefighter, deckhand/oiler, runner/busboy, bike messenger, wilderness ranger, and fire lookout, as well as a teacher of writing. His writing has appeared in ENTROPY, Rattapallax, Left Curve, Fence, connu.co, Best American Erotica 2004, and many other literary journals. A complete list, with links, is available at his website: www.johnyohe.com

Twitter: @thejohnyohe

Blog: johnyoheblog.blogspot.com

Thank you,

John Yohe

503.317.0851

www.johnyohe.com

The first 12 pages of CAT can be read here.